And honestly I’m not hoping anymore for God to show up to strengthen my belief. I don’t expect Him to show up for anything. It would be nice, but at this point I’ve accepted that he’s not coming, at least probably not in my lifetime. I’m just diappointed because I believed what the Evangelical church taught me; that He’s my closest friends, that He’s better than my earthly father, that He’s always there for me…
He’s not. I mean, maybe He is, but not in the way they portray Him to be. You can tell me all you want that maybe my heart or something isn’t right, but I know who I was 5 years ago. I was the little boy believing that his Daddy would show up at his soccer game. The clock kept ticking and I kept believing. Then the game was over and the boys from the other team beat me up behind the bleachers and all the kids laughed. Then I was all alone as I waited for Daddy to show up and take me home, but he never came. He never showed up. And I’m still standing in the parking lot waiting.
That’s why I think God isn’t who the church says He is.

However, as you may have imagined, I must disagree with you on what seems to be the central point of most of this post: distance.

If by “Distant God” you mean physically distant, in the three dimensions we call space, then you are correct. But it seems to me that you have left out an entire dimension. I’m talking about the spiritual dimension.

Now hear me out. God did not create a physical world and then stop. I believe that most of our world (the plants, animals, trees, rocks, etc.) are purely physical and contain nothing spiritual whatsoever (if you believe “all dogs go to heaven”… I’m sorry). But as for human beings, we possess both a physical body, and a spiritual soul (enter dichotomy, trichotomy, and I’m-really-confusedotomy… which debate the differences between spirit, soul, heart, etc). Regardless of subtle (or extreme) differences in spirit and soul, I know that at least one of them exists, and it is purely spiritual. That is, it contains, and is contained in nothing physical.

Now God is purely Spirit (with the exception of Jesus, who is forever a man), and as such, He mostly communicates on that plane whenever He communicates directly with us. This is not to say He doesn’t have the power to communicate, or even appear in a physical way… just that He is Spirit.

Now to limit God’s options by saying that He cannot be near unless He communicates on the physical plane, is unfair, and also not our place. We can question it all we want, but it remains that God can be close to us in Spirit, without ever meeting Him in person.

The types of communications I believe we receive are mostly vague at best. Some of them includes “Peace that passes understanding,” given to us by none other than the Holy Spirit. It also includes an understanding of scripture that is beyond ourselves, which is also from the Holy Spirit. God doesn’t have to show Himself to us because He is IN us.

And if you think that things would be any different if God walked up to you and patted you on the back, you are gravely mistaken. Take, for instance, the story of the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-31). The rich man begged for Lazarus to be sent back from the dead to tell his five brothers, so that they might believe. But Abraham said that if they didn’t believe the prophets, they wouldn’t believe even if someone came back from the dead. Then, of course you have Jesus literally RAISING FROM THE DEAD, and still many many very religious people did not believe. They had God in the flesh doing miracles walking among them, and all they could think was “Oh no! He just healed that guy on the Sabbath!!! Get him!” And we are all like that.

I’m not saying that your heart is hard or that you’re in sin. I’m saying that there’s a possibility that you’ve turned a deaf ear to God’s spiritual communication. If you are Saved, the Holy Spirit indwells you, and makes God known to you… He just doesn’t do it physically.

I should stop here, but I want to say something else. The reason I ended with the equivalent of “I think it’s just you,” is because of what I believe about God. The Bible says He is unchanging, and says a slew of other things about who He is. I trust that the Bible is true. Therefore, if something I see doesn’t line up with that… what I see must be wrong. My pastor said it well this Sunday, and I’ll finish with this:

“When God disappoints us, it’s because we have wrong expectations.”